Give Me Five Minutes and I’ll Give You Shakespeare
Madeline- Welcome, to Give Me Five Minutes and I’ll Give You Shakespeare, and thanks for being with us today. Please give it up for Romeo, Hamlet, and Pertrucio. (Audience claps fanatically) Let’s start with the questions for Hamlet.
Announcer- All guests appear except Romeo.
Madeline- Hamlet, Why do people call you insane, foolish and so many other synonymies for crazy?
Hamlet- (standing up and getting ready to fight) Are you trying to insult me, young lady because if you are…
Madeline- (frightened) No not in any way, it’s just… Anyway, please answer my question. It takes just a few words.
Pertruchio - Of course he is crazy, what are you going to believe the truth or a lie?
Hamlet- (sitting back down) I am not insane, who do you think you are, and who are you going to believe?
Madeline- I will see who I shall believe very soon. Why do you think your kind uncle would kill his own brother? Just to become king?
Hamlet- (starting to shout louder and louder by every word) He did this because Claudius is wicked, wicked, wicked I tell you!
Madeline- In your opinion, why do you think your uncle Claudius is wicked?
Hamlet- Before I answer your question, I would like to make this simple and clear for you, my uncle Claudious is not kind but wicked, as wicked as a devil. It’s a fact, not opinion.
Madeline- If you had a good chance to kill your uncle while he was not praying or anything of that sort, would you kill him?
Hamlet- Of course I would.
Madeline- Thank you, Hamlet. Pertruchio will go next so he can go back to his wife.
Pertruchio- I reckon that you made a good choice.
Madeline- Pertruchio, why have you chosen to find a wealthy, unbearable wife, instead of finding a polite wealthy wife?
Pertruchio- Well indeed that is a hard question to respond to. She seemed to be the one for me, after I would be spending my precious and priceless time taming her to be a noble woman.
Madeline- That is a fine answer. Do you think it was worth your time taming Katherine?
Pertruchio- Yes, because now I not only have received a lot of money and land, but a noble wife.
Madeline- I can easily imagine how much you love your life and wife now! If you were a great friend of Katharina’s father and he gave you a chance to either marry Katherine or Bianca, who would you marry?
Pertruchio- I would still marry Katherina, because once I glanced at her I knew she was my true love for my life.
Madeline- I bet you will both be two great lovebirds forever. How did you tame Katherine?
Pertruchio- That was easy, I just had to not let her eat or sleep until she had better manners.
Madeline- Why that’s absurd, outrageous, and truly insane.
Hamlet- (looking toward Pertruchio) Looks like you are the crazy one now!
Petruchio- You scoundrel, mind your own actions!
Madeline- (whispering quietly to all two talk show guests) Let’s not fight, or else the show may have to stop. (Unluckily he ignores her whisper conversation and continues arguing with Madeline). (Thinking to herself) I think now is a great time for a commercial break, because I am so tired of these wild men.) We will be right back, after this commercial.
(Commercial Break)
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(Continuation of talk show)
Madeline- We’re back with Give Me Five Minutes and I’ll Give You Shakespeare, and getting ready to ask our last few questions to Romeo. Romeo, Romeo, Where art thou Romeo?
Romeo- I am here, Juliet.
Madeline- Perhaps you have made a mistake for there is no Juliet in our show.
Romeo- Perchance I have made a mistake, for I probably am still dreaming. (Audience stares at Romeo and starts chuckling).
Madeline- Romeo, I hope you understand that you are not dreaming and have just been transported from the Shakespearean era to the century of 2008.
Romeo- I do, I do
Madeline- Glad you understand. You know people say I do, I do at weddings, and we are not at a wedding right now!
Romeo- Obviously I did not intend it in that way.
Madeline- Have you received Juliet’s’ letter?
Romeo- How could she send me a letter if she has been dead for one day?
Madeline- She is not, if you found the letter I am talking about you could have understood. The letter was about how she took a sleeping potion and if you came in 48 hours, she would awaken and you two could run away to a land far off in peace, and happiness!
Romeo- So, you have been reading my mail without my permission? No wonder I did not receive this letter! You probably read it and then misplaced it away from my dwelling.
Madeline- No, you have got all the information incorrect. You’re a character in a play, so therefore I cannot read stage props.
Romeo- I must be real otherwise I could not be here answering your questions.
Madeline- You are a breathing human being, but your life is not based on the plot of Romeo and Juliet
Romeo- I do not understand nor wish to understand what you are trying to say. Go, go, your questions with a wicked tongue.
Madeline- (In an angry tone) Anyway, why did you fall in love with a Capulet, in spite that your families are enemies?
Romeo- Love is not just a word or a command nor an expression, though it is a figure of speech. As with myself, love had lured me to Juliet, a lovely Capulet.
Madeline- I understand. Please give another round of applause for our three guests we had today! (audience claps) Thank you Hamlet, Pertruchio and Romeo for being with us today.
Hamlet, Pertruchio, and Romeo- It was a pleasure.
Madeline- Thanks for being here today and I hope to see you all next time. Remember to stay tuned for our next show.